"If you cry for discernment; if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the Lord, and discover the knowledge of God."
I am in a stage that seems to be defined by wanting all that God has for me. I see others at church who, though I'm sure they don't have it all figured out (which almost makes it more frustrating), nevertheless seem to have all the great spiritual abilities described by the New Testament.
I don't.
Peers and elders alike are healing, worshipping, prophesying, and telling people exactly what they are thinking in the hidden part of their souls and I'm over here... I can write pretty and make good soup.
Don't worry. Despite my display of snark, I know I have things to contribute to my Christian community and to the world as a whole. I have been told that I have outstanding discernment and communication abilities, and I really do make great soup. I do, however feel that I'm missing something. The baptism of the Holy Spirit or some spiritual gifts, like when Aslan is handing out those amazing things to the children: magical sword, bow, elixir, and horn. The children feel confident in their newfound abilities to fight, heal, or instill strength. I know I received salvation and the assurance of things unseen, but when God was handing out the extras, I must have gotten distracted by the pastry bar.
Though I shouldn't compare, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I pray and I don't hear a response. I read scripture without epiphany. I sing the worship set and don't feel like dancing. Am I just a typical guy in these things, or am I not doing it right?
At this point you may be wondering what that verse is doing up there at the top. That's from the book of Proverbs, 2:3-5, and it spoke to me this morning in a way that is rare. I do cry for wisdom and understanding, sometimes almost literally. I mean... that's pretty much what I've been complaining about, right? It says, though, to seek them. Seek discernment and then you will discern the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of God.
That is what I've been seeking. An emotional response to God (the fear of the Lord) and insights into His wisdom. But seeking is a process. Wisdom is not contained in a deposit box for which we have the key to open any time we'd like. This verse (and many others in Proverbs) describes a searching that must happen. I feel like simply reading and praying even if only for the sake of obedience will fulfill the searching necessary to acquire the things I could receive.
And one more thing...
It says to "seek her [understanding] as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasure." Most of us don't go around looking for silver or hidden treasure, but insert whatever it is we do end up seeking out. Entertainment and distraction is at the top of my list to be honest. What if I sought wisdom as much I've scrolled meaninglessly through the internet? I think God's trying to tell me something here. I tend to avoid scripture and prayer because I don't expect them to be immediately fruitful, but this may just be a case of delayed gratification.
I am in a stage that seems to be defined by wanting all that God has for me. I see others at church who, though I'm sure they don't have it all figured out (which almost makes it more frustrating), nevertheless seem to have all the great spiritual abilities described by the New Testament.
I don't.
Peers and elders alike are healing, worshipping, prophesying, and telling people exactly what they are thinking in the hidden part of their souls and I'm over here... I can write pretty and make good soup.
Don't worry. Despite my display of snark, I know I have things to contribute to my Christian community and to the world as a whole. I have been told that I have outstanding discernment and communication abilities, and I really do make great soup. I do, however feel that I'm missing something. The baptism of the Holy Spirit or some spiritual gifts, like when Aslan is handing out those amazing things to the children: magical sword, bow, elixir, and horn. The children feel confident in their newfound abilities to fight, heal, or instill strength. I know I received salvation and the assurance of things unseen, but when God was handing out the extras, I must have gotten distracted by the pastry bar.
Though I shouldn't compare, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I pray and I don't hear a response. I read scripture without epiphany. I sing the worship set and don't feel like dancing. Am I just a typical guy in these things, or am I not doing it right?
At this point you may be wondering what that verse is doing up there at the top. That's from the book of Proverbs, 2:3-5, and it spoke to me this morning in a way that is rare. I do cry for wisdom and understanding, sometimes almost literally. I mean... that's pretty much what I've been complaining about, right? It says, though, to seek them. Seek discernment and then you will discern the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of God.
That is what I've been seeking. An emotional response to God (the fear of the Lord) and insights into His wisdom. But seeking is a process. Wisdom is not contained in a deposit box for which we have the key to open any time we'd like. This verse (and many others in Proverbs) describes a searching that must happen. I feel like simply reading and praying even if only for the sake of obedience will fulfill the searching necessary to acquire the things I could receive.
And one more thing...
It says to "seek her [understanding] as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasure." Most of us don't go around looking for silver or hidden treasure, but insert whatever it is we do end up seeking out. Entertainment and distraction is at the top of my list to be honest. What if I sought wisdom as much I've scrolled meaninglessly through the internet? I think God's trying to tell me something here. I tend to avoid scripture and prayer because I don't expect them to be immediately fruitful, but this may just be a case of delayed gratification.
No comments:
Post a Comment